SUMMER CAMP
RuPaul’s disaster spoof Stop! That! Train! rides in on rail
Review by Arnold Wayne Jones
I’m old enough to remember when Mel Brooks and the Zucker-Abraham guys all but invented the cinematic send-up. Starting in the 1970s and continuing through the early ’90s – collectively they spoofed every imaginable film genre: horror (Young Frankenstein), Westerns (Blazing Saddles), Hitchcock (High Anxiety), disaster (Airplane!), spy (Top Secret!), war hero (Hot Shots!). Especially for youngsters, but also doped-up teens and cinerds, they were the pinnacle of movie mayhem; Brooks boasted the more prestigious brand – his films had plot and character and big stars– but the Zuckers and Jim Abraham carved out their own niche, where absurdism became so outrageous as to scoff at the thought of continuity and logic. You could enjoy both, but when it came to the Zuckers, you weren’t really supposed to admit it proudly.
Even they had more cache, though, than the string of imitators who followed, from the low-rent purveyors of the Police Academy flicks to the raunchy spate of Scary Movie franchise entries of the 2000s. Even those had all but died out until last week, when the reboot did amazing box office. The spoof has more juice in it still.
Which is not to say that Stop! That! Train! stands much of a chance to be a box office powerhouse. Its niche appeal – the cast is mostly drag queens – and the diffuse targets of its humor lack a coarse, mainstream focus. I’m not even going to tell you it’s a good movie: By most metrics, the execution skews, let’s say, “economically budgeted.” (The opening scroll of B-roll train footage and obvious miniatures is not so much a glitch as a feature of its charm.) But it is undeniably entertaining, with tons of low-brow laugh and a surprisingly sharp social edge. It’s destined to be a cult camp classic.
For fans of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the bones of its structure will be familiar. For most of the latter seasons of the reality competition series, one of the most popular challenges is the Russical, sometimes cast as a movie parody (Moulin Ru!, The Sound of Rusic, Bitch Perfect). Series watchers can agree that, by and large, the quality and showmanship of those episodes are often staggeringly professional, given the constraints of a three-day turnaround. (Hey, drag queens know how to bring it, on a dime.) Stop! That! Train! includes several musical numbers amid all the faux danger of a disaster movie.
The plot is cribbed from travel-based danger dramas like Airport, Snowpiercer and Snakes on a Plane, with countless other tropes generously peppered throughout: There’s the weather phenomenon (Stormaganza!) that provides a risk for the bullet train, while nobody believes the lone rail operator (Rachel Bloom) who tries to ring the alarm; the U.S. President (RuPaul Charles herself) with a conveniently relevant backstory); the venomous scorpion stalking the crew and passengers; the disabled conductor (Chris Parnell) and the broken brakes that make stopping impossible. Oh, and the conflict among the bitchy train hostesses (all graduates of Train Hostess Academy) that makes this Mean Girls on rails.
Two BFF hostesses – DeeDee (Jujubee) and Tess (Ginger Minj) — are laid off when the recently-bankrupted Spirit Airlines of the land, Stank Rail, so quickly hustle up jobs on the fancy Glamazonia bullet service, which hosts rich and obnoxious clientele (among them gaynoscenti icons like Jesse Tyler Ferguson, June Diane Raphael, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Missi Pyle and Lisa Rinna). Initially disparaged by the sassy staff, they eventually are embraced when they save the day. (Hey, I’m not spoiling anything telling you this.) In true spooftastic fashion, the gags come fast and furious. “We went into this business to travel – to see the the Dakotas – both Fanning and Johnson,” DeeDee notes, with the rimshot implied. They pronounce seminar as “semen-ar” and do a variation of Who’s on First until it overstays its welcome. But mostly, you just laugh.
Ginger Minj and Jujubee actually can hold their own as actresses, going jab for jab with Brian Jordan Alvarez and RuPaul. Along with the Rachel Bloom subplot, the script makes some clever stabs about how women are perceived by men (“I didn’t know girls could be so funny” one man says, while others don’t trust Bloom because she’s dowdy and wears glasses). You don’t come to this kind of movie for social commentary, but RuPaul has always tinged her drag with political defiance – just making herself president in the era of Trump is a queer fantasia you can’t help but eat up.
Nobody will be touting Stop! That! Train! for awards consideration come Oscar time, but that’s hardly a criticism in light of its aspirations. This is exactly the style of queer comic kitsch that America needs to salve the roiling political climate of the day. It provides a much-deserved mental break.
Opens June 12 in theaters.
